Monthly Archives: September 2013

Getting Warmed Up ~ Captions Week 3 (Raiders)

"Do we really have to play these clowns?"  "Yep...twice."

“Do we really have to play these clowns?”
“Yep…twice.”

"So I've tried every other type of kick.  I'm thinking about booming one off my knee next time."

“So I’ve tried every other type of kick. I’m thinking about booming one off my knee next time.”

"So after you widen your stance and spread your arms, you get LOW."

“So after you widen your stance and spread your arms, you get LOW.”

"For the last time, we do NOT use the wildcat formation."

“For the last time, we do NOT use the wildcat formation.”

"I want you."

“I want you.”

"Ah...nasty...is this last week's Gatorade?"

“Ah…nasty…is this last week’s Gatorade?”

"It's about freaking time you showed up. I mean we're 3 games deep, man."

“It’s about freaking time you showed up. I mean we’re 3 games deep, man.”

"Hmmm...that's odd...they're not supposed to have the ball when I'm out here on the field."

“Hmmm…that’s odd…they’re not supposed to have the ball when I’m out here on the field.”

"Does this qualify as planking?"

“Does this qualify as planking?”

"Did you see that tweak in their coverage there?  That was film number 33 we watched on Tuesday at the 15:22 mark."

“Did you see that tweak in their coverage there? That was film number 33 we watched on Tuesday at the 15:22 mark.”

"Way to go...you stole one from Peyton."

“Way to go…you stole one from Peyton.”

"I done told ya once already...if you wanna play with the big boys you gotta bring your A game."

“I done told ya once already…if you wanna play with the big boys you gotta bring your A game.”

"Welcome back, Eric. Not really sure who was wearing your uniform until now."

“Welcome back, Eric. Not really sure who was wearing your uniform until now.”

 

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? ~ Captions Week 2 (Giants)

"Walk like an Egyptian."

“Walk like an Egyptian.”

"I wanna soak up the son."

“I’m gonna soak up the sun. Got my 45 on so I can rock on.”

"Back up ladies. I know you all want a piece of Eric, but you're gonna have to get in line."

“Back up ladies. I know you all want a piece of Eric, but you’re gonna have to get in line.”

"Someone call the equipment guy. We're stuck, again."

“Someone call the equipment guy. We’re stuck, again.”

"Shake it to the left. Shake it to the right. Do the hippy shake shake with all of your might."

“Shake it to the left. Shake it to the right. Do the hippy shake shake with all of your might.”

"Alright...one more time. But if you don't get the sprinkler this time, I give up trying to teach you."

“Alright…one more time. But if you don’t get the sprinkler this time, I give up trying to teach you.”

"The fish was THIS BIG."

“The fish was THIS BIG.”

"No, Peyton. It was THIS BIG."

“No, Peyton. It was THIS BIG.”

"Eeny...meeny...miney...moe...which receiver should I go to."

“Eeny…meeny…miney…moe…which receiver should I go to.”

"This turf tastes funny. Really hope this isn't the stuff Les Miles says he eats."

“This turf tastes funny. Really hope this isn’t the stuff Les Miles says he eats.”

"Good job, little buddy. Maybe you'll graduate to the adult table at Thanksgiving after all."

“Good job, little buddy. Maybe you’ll graduate to the adult table at Thanksgiving after all.”

"Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee, If you are wise you’ll listen to me."

“Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee, If you are wise you’ll listen to me.”

"That's the guy Eli says picks on him all the time in practice."

“That’s the guy Eli says picks on him all the time in practice.”

Umm...I got nothin'

HANDS

Umm...I got nothin', still.

HANDS, AGAIN

"Yo momma."

“Yo momma.”

"What did you say about my momma?"

“What did you say about my momma?”

"Seriously?! Y'all givin' up already."

“Seriously?! Y’all givin’ up already.”

"And then the ref was all like TOUCHDOWN."

“And then the ref was all like TOUCHDOWN…Guys…Guys…I wasn’t finished with my story.”

"Sheesh, Eli...ain't nobody watching YOU play football on their phone."

“Sheesh, Eli…ain’t nobody watching YOU play football on their phone.”

"Are you not enter-TAINED?!"

“Are you NOT enter-TAINED?!”

"Look on the bright side, brother...you threw more passes to the Broncos in the endzone than I did."

“Look on the bright side, brother…you threw more passes to the Broncos in the endzone than I did.”

"Hey, Rog...whadya say I bring my boys back here to play on February 2nd?"

“Hey, Rog…whadya say I bring my boys back here to play on February 2nd?”

Peyton’s Master Class ~ Captions Week 1 (Ravens)

There are no words…NO WORDS…to appropriately explain how much I enjoyed Thursday night’s game…well ok…Thursday night’s second half mostly, but still.  I wish I could say, at this point…20 seasons in, that nothing about Peyton surprises me anymore, but then something like Thursday night happens and he shocks the hell out off me…AGAIN!   So, all I can do is continue to relive it.

"Oh shoot...I think it's stuck."

“Oh shoot…I think it’s stuck.”

ONE

ONE

TWO

TWO

THREE (I kinda felt sorry for Andre cause he only got to catch one TD)

THREE (I kinda felt sorry for Andre cause he only got to catch one TD)

FOUR

FOUR

FIVE

FIVE

SIX

SIX

Lucky Number SEVEN

Lucky Number SEVEN

Damn straight

Damn straight

Close, lady, but it was only 7...not 10.  Maybe next time.

Close, lady, but it was only 7…not 10. Maybe next time.

"I really hope you weren't expecting that to go any differently, Coach Harbaugh.  Maybe that'll teach the NFL not to put an opposing player's face on our stadium."

“I really hope you weren’t expecting that to go any differently, Coach Harbaugh. Perhaps that’ll teach the NFL not to put an opposing player’s face on our stadium.”

Butterflies

peyton tunnel

In less than an hour, Peyton Manning will run out of the tunnel at Mile High in Denver, CO, and my stomach will feel like a butterfly conservatory is inside it.  It’s a little bit nerves, a little bit excitement, a little bit fear, and a little bit thankfulness.  In other words, a WHOLE LOT of emotion.  The fact that I am obsessed with him is not lost on me, but what matters to me is owning who I am, and there is no way I could honestly be myself and not include Peyton.  Since the fall of 1994, I have eagerly anticipated not just football season, but football season with Peyton Manning.  So, when we get to the beginning of a new season, my excitement grows because that’s the way I like to watch football…through him…through his eyes…through his game.  That’s the football I know…every down…every route…every movement.  And before you ask, no, I do not know every audible…that would require far more intelligence than I possess.

For 95% of the last 19 seasons, that’s the way I’ve enjoyed football season.  Truthfully, that one season he didn’t play, I got to see football through his eyes as he stood on the sidelines, but that was excruciatingly NOT joyful.  Now, last season…whoa…last season was some of the most fun I’ve had in his entire career.  Maybe it was the new venue with the new fans and the new players and coaches…all whom I love and adore!  Or maybe it was just a little bit of satisfaction getting to watch him stick it to every person who said he was finished…himself included.  More than likely it was getting to revisit that joy I got all those years ago when I saw him play for the first time.  It was a new start, and I ate it up!

As we barrel head first towards the end of his career, I find myself savoring…cherishing…every second we have left even more so than I already did.  There is no telling when this all might actually end, so I want to appreciate it while I have it instead of the way we too often do: after it’s gone.  I recognized to some degree how much I took him for granted before the neck surgeries.  I expected him to show up on my TV screen on Sundays in the fall without question like he was immortal, and when that immortality came into question, that was a tougher pill to swallow than I care to admit.  It made me appreciate even more the longevity of his career thus far as well as some of the players who came before him who had equally long careers.  It’s not easy to do what he has done for as long as he has done it, and I hope to remind myself of that as often as possible for as long as possible.

Season #20 starts tonight, and that, my friends, is worth every butterfly in my stomach.

Last Shot ~ Captions Preseason Game 4

Three days…THREE DAYS…til kickoff of the 2013 NFL regular season.  I’m only a little bit excited.

Here are some final photo captions from the Preseason.  Enjoy!

It's Peyton's live "Picture of Dorian Gray."

I knew it all along.  Peyton has his very own “Picture of Dorian Gray.”

"Hold still! You got an eye lash."

“Hold still! You got an eye lash.”

"Hey, girl."

“Hey, girl.”

"Cause this is THRILLERRRRRR, thriller night...And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike..."

“Cause this is THRILLERRRRRR, thriller night…And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike…”