Have a Holly Jolly Christmas ~ Captions Week 16

It’s a Merry Broncos Christmas, y’all. One more game left in the season with a chance to take the #1 seed in the AFC playoffs.  Who saw THAT coming?! I said earlier this week on my Facebook page that I’m a little unsure of how to react to having a good defense to go with a good offense seeing as I’ve been a Colts fan for the previous 11 seasons.  I don’t think at any point in time during those seasons, the Colts defense was ranked in the top 5, so I’m not sure if I’m supposed to celebrate or wait for the punchline.  In any case, these Broncos have made this NFL season much more fun than I expected it to be.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.  Thanks for hanging with me so far this season.

"Bringing up the rear and saving the best for last."

“Bringing up the rear and saving the best for last.”

"Oh good, they finally found someone I can outrun."

“Oh good, they finally found someone I can outrun.”

"Arrgh."

“I got your back, Fantasy Owners. Sack leader comin’ at ya.”

"Oh hey, boss.  I was just telling these fellas how things work around here."

“Oh hey, boss. I was just telling these fellas how things work around here. Peyton’s in charge, so if you have any questions just ask him.”

"Such a dilemma.  Should I tell her she has horns sticking out of her head or do you think she's aware?"

“Such a dilemma. Should I tell her she has horns sticking out of her head or do you think she’s aware?”

"Don't be making fun of my fanny pack. Remember y'all haven't opened your Christmas presents from me, yet."

“Don’t be making fun of my fanny pack. Remember y’all haven’t opened your Christmas presents from me, yet.”

"You think anyone would notice if I just picked up the ball and ran?" "Picked up the ball, no...Ran...absolutely...big guy like you would make the earth move."

“You think anyone would notice if I just picked up the ball and ran?” “Picked up the ball, no…Ran…absolutely…big guy like you would make the earth move.”

“Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?” ‘Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. Is that about right? We're dealing with a lot of shit.” “Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em.”

“Excuse me, but what the hell’s going on out here?” “Well, Nuke’s scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man’s here. We need a live… is it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose’s glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. Is that about right? We’re dealing with a lot of shit.” “Okay, well, uh… candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she’s registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let’s get two! Go get ’em.”

"Ok...here's the plan. You create a distraction.  Lifting up your shirt and showing your abs seems to work best. And then I'll...crap I'll tell you more later.  Peyton's coming."

“Ok…here’s the plan. You create a distraction. Lifting up your shirt and showing your abs seems to work best. And then I’ll…crap I’ll tell you more later. Peyton’s coming.”

"Hey...I don't kiss on the first date."

“Hey…I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Oh, do a little dance, make a little loveGet down tonight, get down tonight Do a little dance, make a little love Get down tonight, get down tonight, baby

Oh, do a little dance, make a little love
Get down tonight, get down tonight
Do a little dance, make a little love
Get down tonight, get down tonight, baby

"Man you were so right about this glove. It totally makes the outfit."

“Man you were so right about this glove. It totally completes the outfit.”

"Kids these days."

“Kids these days. Just wait til you’re my age and that stuff starts to catch up with you. You won’t get out of bed til Tuesday.”

"Allow me to show you the door."

“Allow me to show you the door.”

"Gotta work on my bowling skillz. If this football thing doesn't work out, I'm trying out for the PBA."

“Gotta work on my bowling skillz. If this football thing doesn’t work out, I’m trying out for the PBA and then maybe Chippendales.”

"We get to see Santa after this! We get to see Santa after this! Be cool.  Be cool."

“We get to see Santa after this! We get to see Santa after this! Be cool. Be cool.”

"I need a little more from the tenors over here."

“I need a little more from the tenors over here.”

"The song is Silent Night, Knowshon, but we don't want people WISH we'd actually be silent. Perhaps you could stay in key just a LITTLE bit more."

“The song is Silent Night, Knowshon, but we don’t want people to wish we’d actually BE silent. Perhaps you could stay on key just a LITTLE bit more.”

"Is that all you got?!"

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?

"That's my friend.  Give him back."

“That’s my friend. Give him back.”

"He sees you when you're sleeping..."

“He sees you when you’re sleeping…”

"MMMM...fresh meat."

“MMMM…fresh meat.”

"White men CAN jump."

“White men CAN jump.”

"This way to the playoffs, y'all."

“This way, y’all. They’re servin’ turkey and mashed potatoes in section 105.”

"That's right. I'm so good I can throw passes behind my back, too."

“That’s right. I’m so good I can throw passes behind my back, too.”

"shh...I'm contemplating going over to the dark side."

“Shh…I’m contemplating going over to the dark side.”

Oh that explains it.  He survived four neck surgeries because he has ACTUAL fireworks that shoot out of his neck.

Oh that explains it. He survived four neck surgeries because he has ACTUAL fireworks that shoot out of his neck.

"Cel-e-brate good times. Come on."

“Cel-e-brate good times. Come on.”

"And scene!"

Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f-ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

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About Leann

Lazy Pancreas Owner. TV/Movie/Theatre Junkie. Sports Fanatic. Peyton Manning Expert. Alabama Graduate. Car Karaoke Performer. Believer In Love. Come along for the ride.

Posted on December 2012, in General and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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