Monthly Archives: October 2012

Midseason Mayhem ~ Captions Eric Decker Edition

This is a special post for my friend Alecia and our mutual adoration for the…umm…breathtaking wide receiver.  The best of Eric Decker so far this season.

“Come on, guys. I already have to beat the ladies off with a stick. Not y’all, too.”

“Come here, baby. I’ll give you a hug and make it all better.”

“Don’t hit the face. It’s my money maker.”

“Alright, y’all. This has been fun, but I gotta get back to work. I’m sure I’ll be back here soon though.”

“Check out these guns.”

“Listen, you can have the ball just as soon as I cross this big white line.”

“Hold on. I’ll dance with you. Just let me get this pigskin right quick.”

“No…see you gotta keep one leg straight while you kick the other one back and up in the air.”

“Little bunny Foo Foo…Hopping through the forest”

“Look at my baby. Isn’t he cute?!”

“Real men wear pink.”

Photographer: “Show me pensive.”

‘Stop trying to tickle me. Do I look like Elmo?!”

“I’m too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts.”

“Victor Cruz ain’t got nothin’ on these hips.”

“What?! I’m talkin’ to my people.”

Honorable Mention: This lady knows what’s up. Get out the vote!


Cooking With Gas ~ Captions Week 8

Sunday Night Football did my heart good.  It felt like to me the most complete game the Broncos have put together so far this season.  It also extended Peyton’s record in games after the BYE week to 10-4.  He hasn’t lost a game after the BYE week since 2004 vs. Jacksonville, and interestingly enough, all four of the losses were by a combined 16 points.  But, I digress.

“Here comes the hotstepper, murderer.”

“You put your left foot in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.”

“It’s that guy right there that Commissioner Goodell says is a mean, mean man.”

Honorable Mention: Drew Brees’s attempt at creating a new Muppet character.




BYE Week Special

No caption for this, but I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to show the cuteness that is little Marshall Manning.  What good southern football parents he has…dressing him up in appropriate gameday attire.  I know it’s orange, but everyone’s gotta have fans.

Comeback Kids ~ Captions, Week 6

If you turned the game off at halftime, I weep for you…unless you’re a Chargers fan in which case that may have been the smartest decision you’ve ever made, but you’re a Chargers fan, so clearly your decision making abilities are suspect.

DO NOT MOVE! There’s a spider on your helmet.

Just like we drew it up in my backyard, man. Not bad for two old farts, eh?!

Did someone tell Elway he can let Philip Rivers out of his locker now?

Honorable Mention: The Buffalo Wild Wings Sprinkler Maestro strikes, again.

Déjà vu ~ Captions, Week 5

Stupid pretty boy quarterback.

Hey, man, this isn’t Dancing With the Stars. Get off me.

See…I throw…you catch. It’s not that hard.

Peyton: Seriously, Jack?! That’s the best you can do?
Jack: Hey, man, if this was Jacksonville, holding the Pats to 31 points would be a miracle.

That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. Go away. I can’t even look at you right now.


By Golly, We Have A Football Team ~ Captions Week 4

In true Peyton Manning fashion, the Broncos close out the 1st month of the season at .500 and with a complete 4 quarter, total team output type of game.  I was highly impressed with their poise, their focus, their teamwork and their determination.  It may have only been the Raiders, but given the history of that rivalry, it’s still no small potatoes, and if anything it was a showing that maybe, just maybe, this might work out after all.

Here are this week’s captions, and I’m breaking tradition this week by including a picture for a player other than Peyton.  It had to be done.

“Skip to my lou, my darlin’.”

“Hurt so good. Come on baby, make it hurt so good. Sometimes love don’t feel like it should. You make it hurt so good”

“Ah, man. I told the equipment guy we were playing Oakland, and I promised him he wouldn’t have to wash my uniform this week.”

“It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. I’m lookin’ at you Demaryius.”

“Man, that was fun. Can we play these guys every week?”

“See, Fox, what happens when you let ME coach the team?!”

Why, yes, Eric Decker, I will marry you.