Daddy Took the T-bird

So here we sit.  It’s been 295 days since Peyton signed a free agent contract with the Denver Broncos on March 20, 2012.  Truth be told since he came into the league, he’s only reached the end of a season with the last team standing once, so I’ve spent 90% of his career not smiling at the end of a season.  But something funny happened on Saturday night despite my “shout heard round the world” when Jacoby Jones scored on a 70 yard TD pass to send the game into overtime for an eventual loss to the Ravens.  (Seriously, if you didn’t hear me scream, you should get your hearing checked.)  I smiled…at the end of a season that didn’t include Peyton’s team raising the Lombardi trophy…I smiled.  Why was I so “ok” with it?  Why was I, dare I say, happy?  And then it hit me…at some point between last season’s sadness and the snow-capped Rocky Mountains, I re-evaluated how I view the end of a season.

And it turns out Peyton felt the same way:

“When you take a year off from football, you come back for all the enjoyable moments,” Manning said. “When you’re not playing, you miss out on all the highs, but you also miss these disappointments. But I would rather be in the arena to be excited or be disappointed than not have a chance at all. That’s football. That’s why everybody plays it. You have to be able to take the good with the bad.”

“You can’t do it right away, but as the sun continues to shine every morning you do take some time to reflect on some good things that happened this year. It’s certainly not the finish that we wanted, but I think it’s a mistake if you don’t reflect on some of the good things.”

Ten months ago when the Colts decided they no longer needed his services, I absolutely was completely unsure if he would ever play football, again.  It was an uphill battle for him to not only prove to NFL teams that he could still play the game, but convince them enough to invest a significant chunk of their salary cap in him. When he finally made his decision, he landed himself smack dab in the middle of Colorado with the Denver Broncos, a franchise I hadn’t necessarily been all that fond of in previous years, but I accepted it for two reasons: Peyton was satisfied with his choice and the Broncos WANTED him unlike his previous employer.  Of course this didn’t stop me from cringing at the thought of him running out on that field and taking that first big hit.  My hope ten months ago was that he would survive the season.  My hope was that he would be given the opportunity to get his legs back under him and his arm back into the swing of things.  I got a lot more than I hoped for or expected.

I got Eric Decker, Von Miller, Demaryius Thomas, Elvis Dumervil, Knowshon Moreno, Wesley Woodyard, Joel Dreessen, Champ Bailey…just to name a few.  I never expected to fall in a love with this team so quickly.  I never expected to have so much fun watching them play.  And somewhere along the way, I became a Broncos fan.  Somewhere in the middle of a season I could’ve only dreamed of, I suddenly felt like Peyton had been a Bronco his entire career.  The season felt more like they were out in the backyard just throwing the ball around.  And I realized the reason I was having so much fun watching them play was because THEY were having fun playing.  I couldn’t even begin to tell you the last time I saw Peyton have this much fun.

So here we are 10 months later.  And of course I would have cherished a Super Bowl victory, but knowing where this all started and never expecting this team that entered week 6 with a 2-3 record and won their 1st of 11 straight games in incredible fashion, made the playoffs with 4 games left, and then ended up the #1 seed in the AFC playoffs, how in the world could I be anything but happy, thrilled, thankful, and excited…for the future.

If I can have this much fun as a rookie fan of the Broncos…I can’t wait to see what’s next.  I couldn’t script Peyton’s twilight years in the NFL any better than this if I tried.  He needed a place where the organization and fan base would let him be himself…where he could do everything in his power to reward them for their belief in him…where he could eventually sail off into the sunset on his terms and not the terms of some doctor’s scalpel…where he could get back to the pure joy of playing football…where he could have fun, fun, fun til daddy takes the t-bird away.

Nevermore ~ Captions Week 15

With the Ravens on the docket this week, the win streak didn’t seem to be getting any easier to keep up, but thanks to a depleted defense and a recent change in offensive coordinator, the Ravens might not have been 100% on Sunday.  Not the Broncos fault, and I was glad to see they didn’t fall into the trap of believing the Ravens weren’t a good enough team to beat them.  And now, thanks for the 49ers hanging on for a victory over the Patriots, the Broncos have a hold on the #2 seed for the playoffs, and it’s theirs to lose.  Two more games to a 1st round bye, men!

“Listen, your one job is to make sure we have the right Gatorade flavor, so explain to me why we have fruit punch instead of lemon-lime?”

“Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.”

“Don’t tip-toe through the tulips, man! Get off my field.”

“All I want for Christmas is my two front teef.”

“Wait a minute, y’all. Let’s give the little guy some space before we pounce. Ah crap…he’s fast!”

“Hey…you mind your own business #90, and quit trying to listen in. We’re trying to do work here.”

“If you like my sprinkler, wait’ll you see my shopping cart.”

“Run run Rudolph. Santa’s got to make it to town. Santa make him hurry. Tell him he can take the freeway down. Run run Rudolph. ‘Cause I’m reelin’ like a merry go round”

“Hey, Flacco…whadya say we buy each other some oxygen. Flacco? Joe?”

“So Ray Lewis is all ‘sweep the leg’ and I’m all ‘let me show you my crane.’”

“Merry Christmas, Peyton. I’m your Secret Santa.”

“Looks like my work here is done.”

“You had enough, yet, Joey?”

“Oh come on, Mr. Elway. I’m serious…I know I can handle the offense just like Peyton does.”

Eight is Great ~ Captions Week 14

Eight wins in a row and only one division game left to play.  Could these guys really be getting better every step of the way?!

“Tha RAAAIDAHS!”

“Who would’ve thought rubber bands would be my kryptonite?!”

“I’m so glad we have a few extra days off after this game, so I can make those Rockette auditions.”

“I throw, they catch, you block. It’s not that hard.”

“Hey, man, you make a better door than a window.”

“Yes, men, it’s that way to the endzone.”

“Ten Lords A-Leaping…”

“Gonna get me one of those gold medals in the hurdles one day.”

“Come on baby let’s do the twist”

“Get outta here, Carson. I’m trying to make Unrein a household name.”

“Hmm, let me see how this Tebow jump pass works.”

“Oh yeah…I still got it. I may be old, but I ain’t dead, yet.”

“Do y’all smell that, too? What is that?! Is that just the Oakland Smell?”

“I promise, Occifer, I have not been drinking, but let’s be honest, I could probably still beat these guys if I was.”

“My ball. My ball. Don’t hurt me.”

“And this is the little violin playing My Heart Bleeds For You.”

Honorable Mention: Alabama fielded its first football team in 1892. Great year.

DIVISION CHAMPS ~ Captions Week 13

And just like that a 36 year old man with a 4-surgery reconstructed neck leads the Broncos to an AFC West Division Championship with 4 games left in the season.

“Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m huntin’ wabbits.”

“Ok…so where was I? Oh yeah, I ate 3 whole pumpkin pies on Thanksgiving Day. It’s how I keep my girlish figure.”

“And this tattoo right here says ‘NOT IN MY HOUSE!’”

“Not so fast, buddy. This ain’t your hamster wheel.”

“Yes, you may touch the helmet of greatness.”

“Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?!”

“Come here, little buddy. You’re not supposed to go that way.”

“Good grief, you’re a big boy. Guys…little help here.”

“Put me in, coach…I’m ready to play.”

“Dude, do your job! Peyton told us to watch out for this Dallas guy.”

“Why should Decker and Thomas have all the fun. Defensive tackles are people, too.”

“You are not maximizing Dallas’s potential, man. You have no idea how much more he is capable of. Stop listening to your play caller and just drop back and throw it in his direction. He’ll take care of the rest.”

“Thanks for testing my reflexes there at the end Coach. I have 20 month old twins. I need all the help I can get.”

Chiefs of the Division ~ Captions Week 12

A little tougher of a win than most people expected it to be, but just like that the Broncos are 8-3…4-0 in the division and have strung together 6 straight wins.  Keep on keeping on.

As much as I hate to admit it, this is so very, very true.

“Charley horse!”

“E-R-I-C D-E-C-K-E-R”

“Seriously, Brock, why do you even dress out?”

“Imma hide behind you until that big, scary man thinks I disappeared.”

“Oh are these not the Cirque du Soleil try outs? My bad.”

“Come on, man…didn’t I tell you to cut your hair two weeks ago?”

“Let me show you a little move I learned from my friend Ndamukong Suh.”

“Perfect opportunity to practice my karate.”

“Why yes, I will stand here and let you admire my perfection.”

“Target identified. I’m going in.”

“I’d slam this ball in your face right now if I didn’t have to waste a down to do it.”

“Whaaat?! You seriously thought you were gonna win?!”

Broncos Brooms ~ Captions Week 11

After suffering through many a torment at the hands of the Chargers for years when Peyton was a Colt, it has brought me such relief to see him and his new Bronco friends handling things against them.  I’m sure at some point Norv Turner and Philip Rivers thought “oh yea, we get to beat him TWICE a year now.”  Not so fast, Bolts…not.so.fast.

P.S. I added a special honorable mention at the end for Peyton’s dear old pal and my favorite tight end in the league, Dallas Clark.

“Hang on, little buddy…just a little bit to your right. Ok, there…run, Tonto, run.”

“Oh sorry man…I didn’t realize you wanted to practice the lifts from Dirty Dancing right NOW. Give me a little warning next time.”

“Then grab your partner, dosey doe, swing him around and don’t let go!”

“Oh yeah…wet willy time!”

“Dude, I said you could have my game worn jersey AFTER the game.”

“Hold me.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…you just kneed me in the groin.”

“Is he the mean man you told me about earlier?”

“Ah, hell nah…that’s my quarterback…get away from him.”

‘Is this Tebowing?”

Peyton: ‘Wait…I have an idea.”
The entire Offensive Line: “Yeah…when DON’T you have an idea?”

“Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it, P-Riv?!”

“Raise the Roof.”

Honorable Mention: “Dallas Clark has been FREED! Unleash the BEAST!”

Holy Defense, Batman ~ Captions Week 10

2 interceptions, 7 sacks for a total loss of 43 yards, one safety, and a pick-6 later, the Denver Defense makes it known that these Broncos aren’t just a one trick pony.  Hats off to y’all.

“Hey, Ron, could you stop calling me at all hours of the night crying and begging me to take my old job back? It’s really starting to annoy my wife.”

“Could you speak up? At my age, the hearing is the first thing to go cause I thought I heard you say something about this being your house.”

“Good job, little buddy. We might let you sit at the adults table at Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, you can’t touch this. I told you, you can’t touch this. Too hype, can’t touch this. Get way outta here, you can’t touch this”

“I believe I can fly…”

“Boy, you must be outside your mind. Gimme that ball.”

‘Get off me, man or I’m gonna shove this turf down your throat.”

“How many times I gotta tell ya?! The fish was THIS BIG!”

Age projection of Peyton Manning’s son Marshall.

“Hell yeah, Cam Newton got paid to play for Auburn. I should know. I’m the bag man.”

“Dear Lord, These folks look mad. Please help us get outta Charlotte safely. Amen.”

“Shake shake shake…shake shake shake…shake ya booty…shake ya booty. Come on, ref. Do it with me.”

Happy Veterans’ Day. Thank you for your service.

Chhhh…Changes ~ Captions Week 9

My friend Alecia challenged me to consider adding pictures/captions of other players (mostly Eric Decker) to this weekly blog post.  I explained this all started with a funny picture of Peyton from a game and that pictures of other players don’t always inspire me with a caption like he does.  But I at least said I’d try, which is why you all got the All Eric Decker All The Time post last week.  Flash forward to this week as I kept an open mind while scanning through the pictures, and violà…I give you the largest caption post in this blog’s history.

“Is that the BEST you got for a ‘yo mamma’ joke?!”

“Ok…Ok…Uncle…UNCLE…stop beating me with the football…yo mamma’s not fat, alright!”

“You see, not only do I have mad skillz at wide receiver, but I can break dance out here, too.”

“Oh yeah, you wanna see it, again?! Ok.”

“Come to papa.”

“You can’t see it. It’s electric! You gotta feel it. It’s electric! Ooh, it’s shakin’. It’s electric!”

“So…uh…how do we get these unstuck?”

“Let me show you my granny shot. Oh wait…that went the wrong way. Someone call the trainer. My arms are stuck, again.”

“Group hug! Awesome!”

“Yes, Lord, you, Jesus, and Tim Tebow can get free pizza at Papa John’s. Just tell em I sent you. I gotta go do my post game presser now.”

“Ah crap…this is gonna leave a mark.’

“And let me tell you…that’s the LAST time I put money on LSU.”

“Alright, you ready? I’m gonna dip you now.”

“Shoot. Peyton’s gonna be pissed at me taking stats from him. I shoulda dropped at the 20 yard line.”

“Dude, those shoes totally don’t match your outfit.”

“You talkin’ to me?!”

“Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.”

“Hi, My name’s Peyton. I hope I can count on your vote Tuesday.”

Midseason Mayhem ~ Captions Eric Decker Edition

This is a special post for my friend Alecia and our mutual adoration for the…umm…breathtaking wide receiver.  The best of Eric Decker so far this season.

“Come on, guys. I already have to beat the ladies off with a stick. Not y’all, too.”

“Come here, baby. I’ll give you a hug and make it all better.”

“Don’t hit the face. It’s my money maker.”

“Alright, y’all. This has been fun, but I gotta get back to work. I’m sure I’ll be back here soon though.”

“Check out these guns.”

“Listen, you can have the ball just as soon as I cross this big white line.”

“Hold on. I’ll dance with you. Just let me get this pigskin right quick.”

“No…see you gotta keep one leg straight while you kick the other one back and up in the air.”

“Little bunny Foo Foo…Hopping through the forest”

“Look at my baby. Isn’t he cute?!”

“Real men wear pink.”

Photographer: “Show me pensive.”

‘Stop trying to tickle me. Do I look like Elmo?!”

“I’m too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts.”

“Victor Cruz ain’t got nothin’ on these hips.”

“What?! I’m talkin’ to my people.”

Honorable Mention: This lady knows what’s up. Get out the vote!

Cooking With Gas ~ Captions Week 8

Sunday Night Football did my heart good.  It felt like to me the most complete game the Broncos have put together so far this season.  It also extended Peyton’s record in games after the BYE week to 10-4.  He hasn’t lost a game after the BYE week since 2004 vs. Jacksonville, and interestingly enough, all four of the losses were by a combined 16 points.  But, I digress.

“Here comes the hotstepper, murderer.”

“You put your left foot in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.”

“It’s that guy right there that Commissioner Goodell says is a mean, mean man.”

Honorable Mention: Drew Brees’s attempt at creating a new Muppet character.